With or without that one person, you still find the happiness in simply loving them.
In spite of all that is present and all that has passed, it’s unavoidable. The love is as prominent as it has always been and you try so hard to hold back what you feel. The time arrives when it’s almost to a peak, you lose the control you thought you had.
Call it a relapse. Call it love taking its course, like water creating rivers or simply call it giving in to what you know is true. When its peak arrives, you open the app, while emotions and thoughts run wild, you try forcing your hand not to give in to pressing my name. It’s done, your finger has made the decision. At that point you except that my voice is only seconds away and it’s what your heart wants. Slow and a bit uneasy at first, because you fear the worst from my voice. Stabbing at notions you create in your head, the fear that I’ve gone rogue. Although you are in this place you rest now, in your life, you always want to know that I’m still madly in love. You’re afraid that the decision you’ve made will aide in losing me forever.
Be at peace my love, I am still so madly and forever will be. I will always wait, I will always love and I will always be yours.
How silent can I stay when this love runs so deep, it reaches the soul. Forgetting and letting go are words easily spoken, but the hardest to initiate. Again I write, because nothing has changed and I can’t deny that I still feel you inside.
I feel your love within me no more and I’m sure by now it’s faded into a form less fitting than before. I’ve delved so deep looking for it and hoping it remained, but it has vanished. In happiness I hope you are and I say my final goodbye in solace. With you it was boundless and nothing has ever allowed myself to surface. In memory and heart you will remain, as forever is a word I still hold true. Nothing will tear you away from my heart.
This, my last plethora of words written; silent I will stay my love.
I’ll end with the only words I know of you and I…….I love you.
Fighting so hard to keep you away. Fighting so hard to stay away.
You still make my heart sink.
When I close my eyes, I still see you. Your face seared into my mind. The missing has formed into such a fierce feeling and cry inside, knowing that I won’t hear your voice; the way your lips spill those words. I’m surviving without you, in this I know that my love is as real as I feel, because simply loving you brings a happiness within itself. That happiness would defy all, if in my arms you were, as I could never find the words for what I’d feel. You are no words, you’re a feeling that rests inside me, a light so bright, the stars are jealous. Longing to hold you, I’ll remain hopeful, but a part of me believes hope died with that last goodbye.
Endless are the words that spill from my mind, with you as my muse. Forever I am locked into this love, a soldier with flashbacks of moments shared by you and I. I’ve given all to you and I dare not take it back. There’s no more room, as the empty space has been filled by you. Myself as the martyr of this love bound sacrifice, with hope that this will commit to rebirth.
It’s rainy days like these that; make me wish we were lying, bodies embraced, listening to the sounds of raindrops that never miss their mark. Warm inside, with the world as our shadow. Time always stood still, looking into your eyes. I find grace there and your growing love peering back. I used to think there wasn’t a light, at the end of the tunnel, until I found you. What bitter irony leads us to fall, at the most inappropriate time. If fate has lead us here now, it must have more in store for us. Perhaps, this the test of our love. Will it hold bounds, or is it boundless, as we’ve been shown thus far?
Knowing that, it isn’t that you don’t want me, and it’s simply that it’s not our time; leaves me feeling comforted and safe. Your messages incognito, are read; I miss and love you too. Time will tell if, this love is able to prevail and succeed as we trust it will.
Forever my love, forever in my heart and soul.